Train Up a Child: Why Teaching, Not Just Expecting, Changes Everything

We’ve all heard the verse:

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6

But what does train really mean?

It’s not simply letting life teach our children. The Biblical root of the word “train” is rich—it means to dedicate, to initiate, and even to rub the palate of a newborn with chewed dates so they can learn to suck and be nourished.

That imagery says so much:

Training isn’t passive. It’s intimate. It’s intentional. It’s preparation for thriving.

It’s more than words. It’s action. And it starts early.

Children Aren’t Born Knowing—They’re Born Ready to Learn

We often expect children to just know things once they reach a certain age.

But age does not equal training.

Just like a horse won’t learn obedience by simply growing older, a child won’t know how to clean their body, speak kindly, or show self-control unless someone teaches them.

We assume teenagers should have good hygiene—but did we ever show them how to wash their underarms properly, or explain why deodorant matters?

We expect toddlers to listen—but have we ever trained them in what “no” means?

Training Starts Early—But It’s Never Too Late

When my first child began sitting up, I bought a pack of cabinet locks. I placed the box in a drawer, thinking I’d install them soon.

I found that box five years later. Unopened.

In that time, I had discovered something that changed my motherhood:

Instead of baby-proofing the house… I could house-proof the baby.

I taught him what “no” meant.

I taught him “don’t touch.”And guess what?

I didn’t have to worry about cabinets, outlets, or even visiting homes that weren’t “baby-safe.” A simple reminder was enough. He had been trained.

Training Prevents Accidents—and Anxiety

We have stairs in our home. My youngest constantly tried to climb them.

It frustrated me.

I’d confine her to the play area just to keep her safe.

Until one day, she got out.

In the blink of an eye, she had climbed all the way up the stairs.

My heart dropped.

But then it hit me:

I had never actually taught her not to climb.

That day, we started training.

Now, even when she’s near the stairs, she doesn’t climb them.

Not because I installed a gate.

Because she knows better.

You Teach Them to Sleep, Crawl, Walk… Why Stop There?

Think about it:

We spend time teaching our children how to eat, talk, wave, sleep.

But once they begin walking and talking, we stop teaching and start expecting.

That’s where frustration grows—for us and for them.

But when we train them with patience and consistency, it prevents blowups, meltdowns, and chaos.

It builds character.It builds peace in the home.

As Proverbs 29:17 says:

“Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul.”

“Correct” here means instruct, discipline, teach.And when you do, the result isn’t just obedience—it’s rest.

Want a More Peaceful Motherhood? Start with Intentional Training

We are not just raising kids—we are training up future adults.

And more than anything, our job is to prepare them to live, love, and serve according to their God-given purpose.

We are stewards.

We are guides.

And training is one of the most sacred parts of that calling.

🌱 So if you’re feeling overwhelmed in motherhood…

Go back to the basics.

Don’t expect—train.

Want help building rhythms that make room for peace?

Grab the FREE Joy-Filled Daily Planner I created for moms like you—women who want to live intentionally, parent purposefully, and raise the next generation with grace.

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